When I first got married, I was a person that didn’t ask many questions, I was very inhibited and naive. I mistakenly believed that as a good person or a leader, I should know the answers to everyone’s questions. As a result, I adopted the ridiculous attitude of “fake it ’til you make it.” Unfortunately, that caused me to do a lot of faking but very little making. That kind of teaching is really false and misleading in our world today and so many times I have seen devastation in people’s lives financially from doing this!
The fear of appearing foolish was the number one reason why I didn’t ask questions. Had I been wiser and known at the time, I would have paid attention to the words of King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, who looked at the enormity of his leadership responsibilities and said:
I always thought that all fear stems from either ‘I am not good enough’, ‘I don’t have enough or ‘Who am I to ask such questions?” Too often, FEAR keeps us from being vulnerable and feeling secure enough to ask any questions.
Growing up I didn’t feel wise enough, strong enough, mature enough, competent enough, confident enough or qualified enough. I put this down to my upbringing of being abused in many ways and never thinking I was good enough and never being told that I was ‘loved’!
A BAD CIRCUMSTANCE BOUGHT UP TOGETHER TO MAKE A VERY GOOD OUTCOME…
When I met the love of my life Rick at the sweet age of 15, even though we were still only very young in our walk together, eventually after many, many years of growing and listening to great leaders that inspired me, I began to be honest with myself, allow my weaknesses to humble me and go to God for help – I began to change.
I became more open and authentic, I was willing to admit my mistakes and weaknesses. I developed appropriate humility (sometimes difficult) and I began to change and grow. Honestly this took many years with so many ups and down’s in my life’s journey. My husband Rick gives an analogy like a share trading chart – The ups and downs in the stock market is like our lives in many ways!
My journey at that time was difficult and often lonely. I had been basically programmed to a very strict culture and abuse. I had to change wrong priorities, I had to embrace new ways of thinking, I had to ask myself hard questions – I had been unable to discover what was right. Growing up I was always suppressed in many ways. It’s funny though, I thought all these suppressed ways were ‘normal’….
Isn’t it strange how we must surrender being right in order to find what’s right, how humility enables us to be authentic, vulnerable, trustworthy and intimate with others?
People are open to those who are open to them.
It was when I finally became mature enough to say, “I don’t know” and “I need your help,” that I really began to grow as a leader in many ways in business, as a wife and mother and in Church life.
The people who really know me well now, asking questions is very much my forte…lol. I am not scared of being or looking stupid, I am the questions woman!!! I would rather ask a question to be able to take me where I need to go or to understand something NOW rather than later. For me, later is frustrating and confusing!
My passion is ‘Leadership’ therefore I need to keep asking more questions for me to keep understanding life…
I am very impatient in some ways love to know and learn things (good things) and like to keep moving……quickly…lol!!!
Your future will be amazing girlfriend….
Love life and believe in yourself!