Are the people you are connecting with stretching you and taking you where you want to go?

You may remember the old saying:

“It’s not what you know but who you know that really counts”.

John C Maxwell who is one of the world’s premier teachers on leadership puts it this way:

“You level of success in life will always be determined by those who you associate with”.

If this is true, then the question we should often be asking ourselves is: “Who are the people who I am connected with at the moment and how are they affecting my life”?

If your close associates are inspiring and challenging you then you are in what I call the slipstream of success. If your friends think speak and act the same as you, then even if they are nice people they will not be adding to your life.

The truth is we tend to gravitate towards people who are just the same as us. To spend time with people who are further on in life often feels uncomfortable so usually there is a tendency to stay away from these types of acquaintances.

Comfortable is not an option!

When I wake up on a cold winter’s morning I don’t feel like getting out of bed. All I want to do is roll over and go back to sleep because this to me is much more “comfortable” and getting out of bed seems to be an extremely uncomfortable thing to do. The problem is,  if I chose comfort by staying in bed at this time I won’t be able to maximize all of the wonderful opportunities that the day may hold for me.

It is the same with our friends.  Having friends that stretch us may not be the most comfortable thing for us but the point is, comfort will never help us maximize the opportunities that are available to us every day.


Imagine you were in a motor vehicle and you were trying to follow a professional race car driver around a race track. In the beginning it would be extremely uncomfortable trying to steer and take all the bends in the correct line. It would be much easier if you had drivers of your own level to be alongside and follow. But if you kept following the more experienced driver, you would find in time that you would take the bends of life in a similar fashion, in fact, it would be absolutely natural for you to drive like a professional.

Professional racing drivers slipstream in an effort to actually pass the person they are slip streaming and of course we can do exactly the same thing by having connections and being mentored by people who are in a place or position of that we would like to be in.

In the end an Expansive Life really isn’t about comfort, it’s more about who we are becoming and what we are contributing to others whilst we are here on this planet.

Now this doesn’t mean you have to drop all your good friends just because they aren’t stretching you in some way. In fact, the perfect picture of balance is given by mountain climbers.

Think about climbing a mountain with one hand stretching up to a person who is on a higher level and the other hand reaching down to another on a lower level. The perfect picture balance is to have a mentor as well as being a mentor to someone else. This way it isn’t important who is higher than the other, the real point is that you are all heading in the same direction…to the Summit!!

So……… are your connections taking you to a place you have never been before and giving you new experiences or are they comfortable?

If you have only comfortable connections, why not make a plan of action to change that today. Find a mentor and be a mentor.


“Comfort will never help us maximize the opportunities that are available to us every day”

All the best,

Rick Ledingham

Author, Speaker, Leadership & Business Owner

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